Let’s face it, poop and farts are funny. But I’ve created a culture in my household where it’s become a contest to see who can do the most outrageous thing.
Yes, the Banana is a Dad. Of two wonderful boys who I treat like best friends. However, the most important part about this story is that treating them like best friends means talking about childish humor, which is my strong suit.
No, I don’t go around asking them why they have such a small penis or calling them a faggot every 10 seconds, but, we’re embarking on the ten year journey of poop and fart jokes and how they’re the highest form of humor.
First off, at a young age, both children were taught the following:
He kindly picked up the log with a towel and off it went into the toilet.
Second child chimes in and exclaims that the very same day, (they go to the same school) he found a shit floating in the bowl and flushed, to no avail. He wanted to be the Good Samaritan and dispose of said log, but it was just so massive. No toilet paper, no wipes. Just a log that wouldn’t cooperate.
Guess what? It was his brother’s shit. My younger has some olympic sized logs – and I’m not exaggerating. These things don’t go down. They need to be broken up with a fucking pencil or something. I laughed so hard on the drive home I almost cried and lost control of the car.
Bonus content: the entire family was in Khol’s one morning looking for God knows what. Older child tuned and said to me, “watch this” and proceeded to rip ass in the middle of a crowded section where people were shopping. It was audible. Like disturbingly loud. He then yelled out, “Momma, that’s so gross.” Their Mother immediately bolted from the section and turned beet red.
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